As a wedding planner, I get lots of questions about the best way to handle all sorts of things; but the questions I get most, usually center around how to work with a difficult relationship involved in the planning process. One of the best services I provide to my planning couples is wedding advisement. Not only do I advise about the logistics of planning a wedding but I also advise and counsel about the difficult decisions and/or relationships that can sometimes, rear an ugly head.
When planning a wedding, the value of certain relationships becomes very clear. You learn who has your back through it all, you learn who your cheerleaders are and you learn a bit more than you wanted to know about the people who really aren’t in your corner. Those difficult people come in the form of best friends, family members, coworkers and sometimes parents and siblings. Learning this type of information during the wedding planning process can be very draining as well as disappointing. And this is where my role as your wedding planner can be so valuable. I operate as your sounding board and listening ear. I remind you of the importance of the day, as well as the importance of the relationship. We talk about your expectations of others and how sometimes, they may not be able to meet that expectation. We talk about why these people are important to you and the value they bring. But most importantly, I share advice about dealing with all of these people who want to be heard, or feel important. Here is some advice that I have shared with recent brides about dealing with some difficult relationships. You can call it some consultation and planning services, on the house.
- Clarify the wedding you really want and stick to it. Focus on what your wedding will mean for both you and your future spouse.
- Don’t let the intentions of others distract you from the moment, and the whole planning process is a moment. Enjoy the moment.
- Take advice and opinions for what they are, just advice and opinion. Those who give it, usually mean it with best of intentions. Sometimes, opinions are a result of a hidden agenda or concern. Maybe your bridesmaid hasn’t ordered her dress yet because she doesn’t want to or know how to tell you that her finances are really tight at the moment or that Aunt Harriett really is making a big deal about walking down the aisle as a special guest for your wedding because she never got to walk down the aisle for her own wedding.
- Make time for yourself and make time to be a couple, with no talk or discussion of wedding planning. Believe it or not, your future husband wants to spend some quality time with you and you alone. No talk of the bridesmaid that hasn’t gotten her dress yet or the seating chart and where to put Uncle Harold who isn’t married to Aunt Edna anymore.
A wedding is a joyous occasion but the planning can be stressful, especially if you don’t have someone to help through the process and to be that voice of reason, when you just can’t take much more. If you haven’t considered a planner to assist you with some part of the planning process, you just may want to think about it. We offer a bit more that just helping you select the right vendors, staying on budget or creating the all important seating charts and timelines. We also offer peace of mind with the gentle reminder that the day is about two people who have found love and have chosen to begin a new life together.
If you would like to speak with us about your wedding planning journey or need assistance in navigating the difficult relationships that have surfaced, feel free to contact us today.